On Hiatius
Sorry to leave all my adoring fans just hanging there like snot from a 6 year olds nose in the winter, but I was gawddamn busy. Fact is that I was in Rehab... er... on a sabatical that is. Seems the family thought I was under too much stress... or got tired of finding me under a mountain of empty Jack bottles and crushed beer cans... not sure which, not that important. All I can say is that I enjoyed my Spa treatment and I've come out a better AASM for the experience. So go ahead and spank me and let's get this party started! Hey gotta celebrate my entrance back into life mutha' fucka's!
So before I was forcably sent off to the lovely spa, I had some shit to do. Mostly booze, whores and more booze. Let me tell you about it.
The holidays brought about copious amounts of BOOZE and house full of WHORES. Gawddamn I'm a lucky monkey. Holiday partys rock!
This one was my favorite... also the one that landed me in the special Spa.
The bitch who keeps me (and helps me pimp out all my loser family) took me to a NYE party. I had to laugh 'cuz she was DATELESS - fucking loser. I upped her popularity and made her look good that night. We got to the party even though the stupid slut got lost over and fucking over again. After 45 minutes of yelling at her to look at the fucking map and open her gawddamn eyes, we did manage to pull in. Lucky for me the kitchen was packed with bottles of heaven (Booze) and the house was spilling over with 'hos. My fucking lucky day!
I snuck off to the kitchen as often as I could get out of the bitches grasp and by midnight I was sporting a huge buzz... and some wood baby... monkey wood! I had my eye on one hot bitch who kept giving me the eye. She looked loose and fucking wild, my kind of woman.
Loser left around one because she's a pussy who can't party but I managed to stay with that wild bitch, told her to pass some money to Loser so we could spend the night boozing, partying and having some jungle love. She was all for it and Looser felt like she had gained something by getting gas money. Loser! She missed the wild slumber party.
I got so fucking wasted I only vaguely remember when I look at the pictures.
I really didn't sober up until the Friday AFTER New Years. Fuck my ass was sore!
Fucking wife had reported me missing and shit. Shannon (one of the hot bitches at the party) was tired of having a drunken monkey hanging around and Laurie (My hot bitch) wasn't wanting any more of my monkey ass (bitch! She's gonna miss me, nothing compairs to monkey wood! Real Jungle Love can't be forgoten!). Got thrown out like a bad episode of cops, me in a dirty wife beater being drug out in cuffs. Fuck that hurt.
Anyway, I woke in the drunk tank and the judge ordered me into Spa treatment and to pay some fucking huge fine. Anybody wanna help a monkey out? Come on man, you know you want to, just a few bucks.
Well gotta go, gotta get my own party started now that I'm out of lock up.
So before I was forcably sent off to the lovely spa, I had some shit to do. Mostly booze, whores and more booze. Let me tell you about it.
The holidays brought about copious amounts of BOOZE and house full of WHORES. Gawddamn I'm a lucky monkey. Holiday partys rock!
This one was my favorite... also the one that landed me in the special Spa.
The bitch who keeps me (and helps me pimp out all my loser family) took me to a NYE party. I had to laugh 'cuz she was DATELESS - fucking loser. I upped her popularity and made her look good that night. We got to the party even though the stupid slut got lost over and fucking over again. After 45 minutes of yelling at her to look at the fucking map and open her gawddamn eyes, we did manage to pull in. Lucky for me the kitchen was packed with bottles of heaven (Booze) and the house was spilling over with 'hos. My fucking lucky day!
I snuck off to the kitchen as often as I could get out of the bitches grasp and by midnight I was sporting a huge buzz... and some wood baby... monkey wood! I had my eye on one hot bitch who kept giving me the eye. She looked loose and fucking wild, my kind of woman.
Loser left around one because she's a pussy who can't party but I managed to stay with that wild bitch, told her to pass some money to Loser so we could spend the night boozing, partying and having some jungle love. She was all for it and Looser felt like she had gained something by getting gas money. Loser! She missed the wild slumber party.
I got so fucking wasted I only vaguely remember when I look at the pictures.
I really didn't sober up until the Friday AFTER New Years. Fuck my ass was sore!
Fucking wife had reported me missing and shit. Shannon (one of the hot bitches at the party) was tired of having a drunken monkey hanging around and Laurie (My hot bitch) wasn't wanting any more of my monkey ass (bitch! She's gonna miss me, nothing compairs to monkey wood! Real Jungle Love can't be forgoten!). Got thrown out like a bad episode of cops, me in a dirty wife beater being drug out in cuffs. Fuck that hurt.
Anyway, I woke in the drunk tank and the judge ordered me into Spa treatment and to pay some fucking huge fine. Anybody wanna help a monkey out? Come on man, you know you want to, just a few bucks.
Well gotta go, gotta get my own party started now that I'm out of lock up.
posted by Angry Albino Sock Monkey!! at 8:30 PM
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