Girls, Girls, There Is Enough Monkey Love For Everyone...
Life is good when you are one hot piece of monkey love. My girls sending me the love and all. Gawddamn this ankle bracelet from the state! Puttin' a cramp in my luvin' and all. I was just bitchin' 'bout that with Martha. She was all 'Damn! I'd be out at the bars an' shit if it wasn't for this fucking ankle bracelet. I gots to get them to bring in my cases of 40's and drink it here with the pool boy. Fuck I'm gettin' tired of fuckin' him, I need me some rough sex like I get up at the biker bar.' I mean it was something like that. But anyway, Martha, I got yo back girl. Ain't easy being a felon.
So my girls been sending me the luv (but no naked pictures, girls, girls, girls, what's with that shit? Need to be hooking Monkey Man up with some naked pictures and all - internet porn is expensive). Sable baby, I been trying to call you but you ain't gonna believe this shit. Bitch done did something to the phone so every time i try to call out I get an electrical shock. First time I was calling the liquor sto for a delivery and gawddamn if it didn't singe the fucking fur off of half my head! I thought maybe it was a short in the phone or maybe she didn't pay the bill, so I goes to the other phone and mutha fuck, I dialed and it rang then ZAP! That butt-fuckin' phone done shocked me again! I may be permanently deaf in that ear. I just dropped that phone and ran down stairs, started pourin' the rest of my 40 in my ear. Bitch done been watching and listening and was rollin' around on the floor laughing. It ain't funny. I waited a couple of days, then I couldn't control my urges no mo' so I gets Sable's number and I dial it. This time it shocked me so fuckin' hard I blacked the fuck out - and that shit only usually happens after a couple of cases of 40's. I may have brain damage from that shit. So Sable, baby, I been trying. Dora, girl, you hot bitch, you always on my mind. Dixie, girl, don't be letting bitch hate on me, you know you love me, come on over and take me for a ride in yo' pimp-mobile - I'll take you for a ride of my own.
Gawddamn, bitch done be waking up. I gots to go look like a reformed felon and all.
So my girls been sending me the luv (but no naked pictures, girls, girls, girls, what's with that shit? Need to be hooking Monkey Man up with some naked pictures and all - internet porn is expensive). Sable baby, I been trying to call you but you ain't gonna believe this shit. Bitch done did something to the phone so every time i try to call out I get an electrical shock. First time I was calling the liquor sto for a delivery and gawddamn if it didn't singe the fucking fur off of half my head! I thought maybe it was a short in the phone or maybe she didn't pay the bill, so I goes to the other phone and mutha fuck, I dialed and it rang then ZAP! That butt-fuckin' phone done shocked me again! I may be permanently deaf in that ear. I just dropped that phone and ran down stairs, started pourin' the rest of my 40 in my ear. Bitch done been watching and listening and was rollin' around on the floor laughing. It ain't funny. I waited a couple of days, then I couldn't control my urges no mo' so I gets Sable's number and I dial it. This time it shocked me so fuckin' hard I blacked the fuck out - and that shit only usually happens after a couple of cases of 40's. I may have brain damage from that shit. So Sable, baby, I been trying. Dora, girl, you hot bitch, you always on my mind. Dixie, girl, don't be letting bitch hate on me, you know you love me, come on over and take me for a ride in yo' pimp-mobile - I'll take you for a ride of my own.
Gawddamn, bitch done be waking up. I gots to go look like a reformed felon and all.
posted by Angry Albino Sock Monkey!! at 3:51 PM
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